Bathroom Bear

There’s a bear in my bathroom
And I want to know why,
When we were first introduced
I started to cry,
Because it’s not the kind of thing
That I expect in the morning,
There’s a bear in my bathroom
And I had no advance warning.

There’s a bear in the toilet room
Chewing on soap,
He didn’t like the Irish Spring
But loves the Pope on a Rope,
Now he’s slurping shampoo
And conditioner too,
I’m afraid that he adores me
Like a toy he can chew.

There’s a bear in the lavatory
With white teeth and black fur,
I’m not really sure
If it’s a him or a her,
After a brief introduction
We seem to be getting along,
Now that bear is in the shower
And he is singing a song.

A bear in a fur coat
Has taken over the loo,
I called Animal Control
And said, “What should I do?”
They asked, “Is it aggressive
A threat to your life?”,
I answered, “He looks pretty happy
After eating my wife”.

There’s a bear in my bathroom
And we’re getting along,
We’ve come to an agreement
About the best shower song,
And as long as I supply him
With blackberry conditioner,
He promises to behave
Like a bloody good parishioner.

7/29/14

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