A Lotta Fun

Thirty years from now
I could be Ninety-one,
If I can stay healthy
It oughta be a lotta fun.

I need to avoid
Getting hit by a truck,
Keep away from large snakes
And horses that buck,
Jellyfish stingers
And terrorist captors,
Giant wooly mammoths
And prehistoric raptors.

I shouldn’t roller-skate
No sense in sky-diving,
Why hurry death?
When it’s always conniving,
To remove, just one more person
From the planet, each minute,
An out-of-contol dragster?
I don’t want to be in it.

Deep sea diving in a Bathysphere?
That’s a possibility,
Although, I might just wait
Till I have reached senility,
Because, if a brain injury might happen
I’d rather not rush it,
And if I go down too deep;
The ocean might crush it.

Sword fighting with a Samurai?
I wouldn’t know how,
I’d probably end up
Being sliced like a cow,
Not too much sirloin
I’m lean, not plump,
Barbecued, or Jerky?
And stay away from my rump.

Let’s appreciate SPIKE.com
“A 1000 Ways to Die”,
They pretty much cover
All the things I shouldn’t try,
If my intent is to survive
To the ripe old age of 91,
Stupidity is often fatal
A not a whole lotta fun.



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