Animal Wrongs

Three Bites

Too many frickin’ dogs
Wherever I go,
I’ve seen them at the pharmacy
And the motion-picture show,
Teacup-poodles at Costco
Handbag-bassets at Taco-Bell,
To us cat aficionado’s
It feels like canine hell.

I plan to protest
I propose to fight back,
We cat and rat-lovers
Have to take up the slack,
And each and every one of us
Who prefer rabbits and hares,
Need to get out in public
And show that somebody cares.

If I’m ever in the hospital
I’ll send my wife
To “Rent-a-Rabbit”,
Because too many dogs
Have become society’s bad habit,
I’ll need my helper-hare
And I want my comfort-cat,
And he wants his ever playful
Laboratory rat.

I want equality
For the animals that visit,
No more chance for discrimination
When people say, “what is it?”,
A biped, a quadruped
A uniped, who cares?
Because there once was a time
When even dogs, would bring stares,
So the future is bright
And those dogs will take a lickin’,
Because after my rabbit
I’m bringing a chicken.

Ain’t got nothin on me,
Just wait till they see
My helper-wasp and my bee,
The Cockatoo speaks Spanish
And my Coyotes that howl,
Whenever the nurse
Brings some soap and a towel.

Some say I’m like Doolittle
But in fact, I do a lot,
Equality of animals
Is hotter than snot,
And according to the Baboons
From Animal rights,
They fully support my stance
And give it, “Three Bites”.


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