Dog crap on my lawn in the mornings
I’m done with platitudes and warnings,
It’s all out war on the perpetrators
I’m going to buy a couple alligators.
I will flood my lawn and fertilize
That grass will grow under sunny skies,
‘Til it’s least as high as my old knees
Then my gators can wait for that Pekingese,
Leashed by, grumpy old Mrs. Flapper
Using my lawn, as her dogs crapper,
The two of them will get a surprise
Early morning, just after sunrise.
Security camera’s are poised and ready
For Mrs. Flapper, and little Freddy,
Their destiny has come to this date
As Heckle and Jeckle salivate,
I withheld their snacks since yesterday
So now they’re hungry and ready to play,
With little Freddy and Mrs. Flapper
The final end for that little crapper.
With a gutsy roar and gaping maw
Heckle and Jeckle laid down the law,
At my front lawn, in East Sorrento
Leaving only a furry memento,
So much better, than that silly sign
That I posted back in ninety-nine,
Urging dog owners, to mind those bloopers
Dogs on leash, consummate poopers.