Didn’t Do It

I didn’t do it
And I didn’t do it again,
No matter what they say
Via typewriter or pen,
Blog it or podcast
Snapchat or Twitter,
I didn’t do it
I’m not that kind of critter.

I didn’t say it
Yell it or sing,
Didn’t use a megaphone
Or a guitar string,
No matter what you read
In a magazine or paper,
I played no singular part
In this notorious caper.

I am innocent
Didn’t do that silly thing,
No matter what impression
The audience wants to bring,
Fingers pointed
From the bully pulpit,
Don’t be a fool
Don’t sip it, or even gulp it.

I never did it
Perhaps it was you,
I’m considering a smear campaign
And I’ll deliver what’s due,
After putting up with
Public shaming and such,
After my counteroffensive
No one will trust you very much.

So, back off, I say
Stop promoting your lies,
There is a ghost in the wings
Dreaming of french fries,
In of itself, that’s peculiar
And confusing,
Rest your case, my enemy
I’m winning, you’re losing.

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