Ms. Todorean

While Manuel was reading the manual
I was distracted
By a Jack Russell spaniel,
That nasty little dog
Was pissing on my DeLorean,
Disturbing my thoughts
Regarding Anna Todorean.

I kept my cool and
Ran over that puppy,
Left it in the road
Gasping like a guppy,
Put the pedal to the metal
Down the road to Lake Orion,
Now lovely Miss Anna
She drives a Delorean.



Ponder all the iterations
Bitter and its conversations,
Food that makes you pucker and spit
So bitter it was, that thing you bit,
And then that time
When he attacked,
You bit his hand
When you got smacked,
Is a bitter beast,
Be more careful in the future
To say the least.



Pennies on Millions

How many folks retire
With nothing in the bank,
They have only a few dollars
To put gas in the tank,
It begs the question
Do they really need a car,
Or maybe it’s time to sell
That old Les Paul guitar.

But wait, it was stolen
Back in 1967,
In Golden Gate Park
When LSD was your heaven,
And you were so young
Taking anything for free,
You thought, “Jerry’s guitar?”
Now belongs to me.

Worth millions by now
But only pennies to you,
Try to find a buyer
Your debt will come due,
Because Jerry has friends
Who will come after your neck,
Bury you six feet under
Your redwood deck.

You retired
Without a dime in the bank,
All the weed you smoked
And the booze that you drank,
Dreaming your fantasies
About a secret guitar,
While you’re left with a pooch
In a trailer and no car.


Incendiary Dreams

I dreamed about a babe
The one I hold most dear,
Please don’t tell my secret
Because that’s what I fear,
It’s a delicate situation
Mysterious and dark,
But when we are together
‘Tis like kindling and a spark.

A dangerous situation
No matter when we meet,
In the cloakroom at work
Or even on the street,
Spontaneous combustion
Eye contact and a smile,
There’s just something about this babe
Way beyond the rank and file.

Incendiary moments
Fire extinguisher fun,
As if flames attacked our clothing
At the surface of the sun,
Enticing is the experience
Sensual and delicious,
Best tasted in the smallest amount
The most decadent of dishes.

I understand why
She only comes to me at night,
In the midst of my dreams
I’m convinced that’s alright,
After all, I’m not cheating
She is gone by sunrise,
The best thing about it?
It’s just my babe in disguise.


Dream Kiss 5

Dreamt you had a sailboat
Of course, there was more,
We were kissing as usual
It started at the front door,
Moving through the house
All lickety split,
You kicked me out later
When we were done with it.




The facade
That we are superior,
Is exposed such, that
We are inferior,
By our suicides
At the peak of our dreams,
Whereas, animals and insects
Live life without these screams.



The therapeutic TENS unit
Is shocking my back,
Because last night I suffered
An obesity attack,
Another five hundred pound night
Easily doubled,
With peripheral neuropathy
I’m a little troubled,
My feet have been tingling
With a cool sensation,
You know, every nurse needs
A lifting vacation.

The cause of all this
Is called spinal stenosis,
It’s a bother all right
But it beats Liver cirrhosis,
One is inconvenient
And may require an operation,
The other is a death sentence
The final destination.